somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
