Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
