So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
