So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
