Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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