"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
