Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
we should paint friendship bongs
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
