bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
