Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
