yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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