I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
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I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
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Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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