Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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