You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
