Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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