you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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