Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
