I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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