its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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