haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
from now on my penis is your penis
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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