yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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