i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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