And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
