I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
