so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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