I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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