Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
