apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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