I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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