please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
