some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
