I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
