Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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