So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
