She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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