i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
