He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
