I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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