its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
