went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
