i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
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I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
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Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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