dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
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I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
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Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after