Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Do ugly people know they are ugly?

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  The quiet ones do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Do ugly people know they are ugly? (1-202): The quiet ones do. http://tfl.nu/129a
  Replies (25) Good night (2326) Bad night (2542)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers" http://tfl.nu/rpqk
  Replies (11) Good night (848) Bad night (2497)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more. http://tfl.nu/a0ch
  Replies (5) Good night (927) Bad night (3540)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'

  (810): View more from Michigan

  needless to say i wont be back home tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?' (810): needless to say i wont be back home tonight http://tfl.nu/wf6u
  Replies (38) Good night (5063) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be http://tfl.nu/0ihg
  Replies (59) Good night (8393) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm. http://tfl.nu/xqmo
  Replies (19) Good night (6785) Bad night (1582)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom. http://tfl.nu/dmbr
  Replies (16) Good night (2340) Bad night (6892)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion http://tfl.nu/9p9w
  Replies (47) Good night (2608) Bad night (8221)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room http://tfl.nu/tujl
  Replies (9) Good night (2140) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class. http://tfl.nu/uw6v
  Replies (5) Good night (1055) Bad night (1354)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up 

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up  http://tfl.nu/ojbn
  Replies (3) Good night (894) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding.. http://tfl.nu/ukti
  Replies (5) Good night (518) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there. http://tfl.nu/8rbi
  Replies (12) Good night (1651) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila

  (716): View more from New York

  Step 4: your drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila (716): Step 4: your drunk http://tfl.nu/kixe
  Replies (4) Good night (621) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha http://tfl.nu/c31t
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (434)

Randomize