official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Found your bra
Hanging in the tree