it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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