There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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