went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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