I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
