some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
