everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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