I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
