How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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