So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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