I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
