its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
