Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
