dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
