I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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