you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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