I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
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That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize