I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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