i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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