the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
