Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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