why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
