I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
