wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he just fucked me for my cheese..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
