Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
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At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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