I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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